[Public-list] Overly Verbose Thoughts on River Power Boaters

Tue Oct 19 19:43:14 PDT 2004

Brian and/or Elaine,

Funny you should mention river power boaters because, over the years, I have had some time to reflect on the subject.  First, they really aren't a bad bunch.  Perhaps the most amazing thing about them is they almost never get lost.  Even after consumption of copious amounts of alcohol ("we're from France, mother crashed the starship in Lake Michigan") they inevitably know weather to go up (ascending) of down (descending) river.  Occasionally, when ascending the Ohio, they come to the point where it (the Ohio River, that is) ends. (Actually, it, the confluence of the Ohio River, is called "Point State Park."  Over the years, a bunch of forts have been built there to prevent the Indians from killing first the French then the English and then the English from killing the French then from the French killing the English).  Although someone occasionally messes up, they usually turn the way they intended which is either right to ascend the Monongahela River (that one is named after one of the Indian tribes that always attacked the forts) or left to ascend the Allegheny River (that one is named after a local brewery that went belly up after all of the Indians stopped attacking the forts [I think]).  

Today the point is dominated by a big fountain that, during floods, attracts power boats that have broken loose, usually still tied to their docks, from upstream marinas pummeled by loose barges.  One would think over the years that "rivermen" would learn how to secure those barges, but; noooooooooooooo, every flood a few go gallivanting downstream in search of vulnerable marinas.  After cashing in a few pleasure boats, they usually get stuck sideways on a bridge pier or cantilevered over a damn.

During more normal times, the park at the point serves as a what I can only describe as a "complimentary observation medium."  The power boaters drift about 10 yards offshore and watch the pedestrians watching them.  In the early 80s I kept a Hobie 16 on the Alleghany near The Point and on windy days it was allot of fun to "charge the fleet" at 15 knots while flying a hull.  I recall "operators" (that's what they call people who "steer the dear" on the rivers) looking up from casual alcohol consumption and literally diving for the ignition switch so they could escape being rammed.  Of course, it was a joke and I almost never hit anyone.  Besides, that triangular hole made by a Hobie hull is easily repairable, as long as it is above the water line.

I digress.  To continue on the subject of river navigation, there are certain irrefutable navigation milestones called damns.  Folk lore says these were put in years ago as "aids to navigation."  From my perspective, because they act as impediments to what is otherwise a fairly uncomplicated, linear navigation solution, they only serve to confuse the intrepid power boat navigator.  They are sort of like punctuation marks in the navigation dialogue between power boater and the rivers that challenge him or her.  For most, the navigation sentence ends at the damns.  The great majority stop, wait their turn for the lock and continue their assertion or dissention after "locking thru."  

As you might imagine, however, there are exceptions.  One of my fellow marina patrons had a pontoon boat  (some call them floating card games).  He approached the lock just downstream of our marina only to be told by the lock master he had to wait for a tow boat with barges to "lock thru, ascending."  He then recommenced-a-partying and, apparently, was having such a good time, that dam damn completely slipped his mind.  What a thrill for you and your crew to drift over the damn, drop about 8 feet and slosh around in the turmoil for a few minutes.  All were recovered, remarkably unharmed and instantly sober.  

Occasionally, usually after dark, a speed boat "navigates" a damn (it goes without saying that the best way to do this is in the descending direction).  We had an interior designer who worked for us years back that was a passenger on boat that did this.  All aboard were in high school and in "high spirits" and didn't know what had happened until they landed on the low side.  Ignorance is bliss.

Truth be told, I have had only had to blow my horn to get the attention of power boaters in peril of causing me peril three times.  I consider this pretty good considering they go either up or down while I often have to go back and forth (the wind usually blows upstream) and they have to spend so much time focused on navigation.  One problem with being at a marina just upstream of a lock is the power boaters tend to sprint out of the lock once it opens; sort of like the start of a horse race only all of the horses are behind the same gate.  One time, I was sailing wing and wing and a little speed boat shot out of the lock coming at me at full throttle.  I gave him several blasts of the air horn just in time.  He slowed down and, as he went by, said, "sorry man, I didn't see you."  I didn't to ask why he was unable to see white sails equal to the size of a two car garage directly in front of him.

Any way, I can't really blame them for not knowing what a jib is; I am still trying to figure out what a house boat is.

All for now,

Roger 

Roger Kingsland
Chief Boat Boy
PERFECT intentions, A30 #148
on the hard at N40° 33.945' W79° 51.260'

Author's Disclaimer; This email was produced exclusively by the sender and, in the interest of expediency, without the benefit of editing by others.  The sender, thank goodness, is a much better architect/sailor than speller/editor and, frankly, constantly laments an obvious flaw in "spell check," it does not know what the author is thinking.  Please accept the sender's sincere apologies for any "typos" that may appear in this document.  If present, they are certainly unintended and hopefully do not cloud the message, or spawn any unnecessary lawsuits.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Brian and Elaine Timmins" <timmins at optonline.net>
To: "Alberg 30 Public List -- open to all" <public-list at alberg30.org>
Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2004 8:18 PM
Subject: Re: [Public-list] Roller furling - or hanked on?

> Roger said:
> "I commented to the gas guy how lucky it was I had that jib so handy to get
> me out of my jamb.  He asked me what a jib was. "
> -------------------------------
> Ah, power boaters. And river power boaters at that!
> 
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